say it all out

#23

2012-02-22T23:50:00.000+08:00

I'm tired.

Of everything.

Give me some rest.

I don't want to deal with you for few days.

Let me calm myself and get some rest first.

I'll deal with you later okay.

But please, no more games.

Trying to understand you exhausted me out.

Seriously.

#mentally exhausted

peace out,

eirazm

#22

2012-02-16T00:28:00.000+08:00

I remembered something last night.

I remembered how I tend to blast Linkin Park's Meteora album when I'm feeling all dark and sad. & I'm doing just that now. Blasting it out loud through my headphone. Calming myself with it. Isolate myself from the world temporarily.

For some reasons, my heart feels pain. If doing this could calm me down, cheer me up... then let it be. At least I'm not doing anything that is unwise. But seriously, i feel like driving through the night. Drive without limit, without thinking. Do things that Eira won't do. Wouldn't it be nice to have a place where you could scream your lungs out?

Partner in crime, why are you not here to accompany me doing stuffs. sigh.

Why does it hurt? Why am i affected? To hell with it.

peace out.

-eirazm-

#21

2011-10-31T02:03:00.003+08:00

Depressed.

Stressed.

Feeling down.

Sad.

Confused.

Disturbed.

Depression is the inability to construct a future.

Rollo May

Yes. I can't see my future now. I'm struggling to imagine one.

Depression is something that makes you lose your sight.

Michael Schenker

It's because I'm losing my sight that I get into depression. Everything seems so hard to achieve at the moment.

Depression, as far as I'm concerned, is just a waste of time.

Helen Reddy

I FREAKING KNOW THAT! But I can't help but feel this way.

Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future.

Sivananda

I just wish I know how to make things right.

Every age yearns for a more beautiful world. The deeper the desperation and the depression about the confusing present, the more intense that yearning.

Johan Huizinga

I hope so Johan Huizinga. I hope you're right on this.

Enthusiasm is followed by disappointment and even depression, and then by renewed enthusiasm.

Murray Gell-Mann

I hope so. I hope so. I need to overcome this negativity ASAP.

May Allah make me strong enough to go through everything.

p/s: I miss mama & ayah. Come back soon please.

peace out,

eirazm

#20

2011-09-14T02:42:00.001+08:00

At this moment, I'm feeling quite empty. Like I don't know what to feel, I don't know what to do & I feel so alone. Maybe I'm just bored and have too much of free time on my hand now.

Life has been quite a routine since God knows when. Since December till July, my life is all about working. My head is full of Sumandak this Sumandak that. I feel I'm becoming more responsible and I do quite enjoy the work that was given to me. Yeah, I do have those lazy moments as well. But overall, I enjoy it more than I think. The busyness keep myself away from this feeling of emptiness. & I like it.

Since finishing my internship, I have quite too much of free time now. I'm more busy with house chores which tiring me up even more than work is. (somehow). I rarely go out. Even if I'm out, I would be with Mother becoming her driver for the day. When I'm home, I'm stuck with house chores. When people invites me out, I'll agree without thinking twice. It's becoming a boring-routine.

Sometimes you just have those self-alarm that reminds you that you need to socialize more. & the fact that I'm the type who would usually go out with the people that I'm comfortable with (close friends only), it means that my social life will not expand like I want to. I sometimes feel that I'm extrovert; people who gain energy by being around people. So being alone like I am now, my energy is drained so much that I'm demotivated. But at the same time, I am becoming less sociable than before. I want to get to know & met new people but at the same time I do not want to be so closed to them. The friendship tends to be on the surface where it's hard getting them to know me better. It's all because I'm closing myself that way.

At times, I just don't understand myself like I thought I would. Thus when I feel this type of emotion / feelings (of emptiness), I'm clueless on what I should do to cheer myself up. Maybe I should just sleep myself off till tomorrow and hope for a good day?

Do any humans understand themselves better, I wonder? Do they have this complex like I'm having at the moment? Maybe this is a normal occurrence for any humans?

Emptiness is filling me, To the point of agony

Fade to Black, Metallica

peace out,

eirazm

#19

2011-09-08T22:14:00.002+08:00

Is it normal to get those giddy feelings when someone you used to crush on is talking/texting/chatting with you?
Isn't it dangerous for you to feel that way?
Especially when lately you keep on seeing people with similar feature that reminds you of him. Which equally means you are remembering him.

It makes me wonder why and why this kind of thing is resurfacing back.
Not that I have those feeling anymore (I don't think I have it anymore).
I just hope we could be a comfortable friend.
But I just can't help to remember. Somehow.

I'm going back to university in about 3 weeks.
& that means the chances of seeing him is higher than a year ago.
Yup I haven't see him since last May.
Which make it 1 year and 4 months. Am i counting it? LOL.
I'm quite scared to see him.
I'm quite scared to see my reaction of seeing him.
Yes, I don't think I like him that way anymore.
But seeing him after this would be like a test on my feeling eh.
To test how true is it that I don't like him that way anymore.
Scary~!

Ah those giddy feelings. Please go away~!
You are making me feel scared already.

Dear heart, please do remember he's not available anymore. Don't think of him. Don't!

Alright! SHIELD UP! SHIELD UP!
COVER THE HEART!
DON'T LET ANYONE OR ANYTHING ENTER!
YOU HEAR ME SOLDIER?
ERASE THE MIND'S THOUGHTS ON IT!
MAKE SURE THE SHIELD IS UNBREAKABLE!

Lol. See.... i'm overreacting over the matter. =.="
Chill sudah. It's nothing I can't handle, right?

Of course! (hopefully)

Enough of this nonsense. Take care.

peace out,
eirazm

#18

2011-08-16T03:15:00.001+08:00

It gets tiring when your sleeping cycle has been disturbed.

& you can't seem to sleep properly.

It gets annoying too.

I'm feeling tired but I know when I lie myself in bed, I wouldn't be able to sleep.

& I will get restless until my eyes are able to close which is when my active brain decided to get some rest.

& with my almost 3rd week of coughing, that should explain another reason of my sleeping problem.

Dear throat, do get better soon. Onegaishimasu!

It's tiring me up, my chest hurts and I feel like throwing up whenever I cough as well.

Complaining won't heal my coughing. Won't let me sleep easily.

But at least I'm feeling good updating my so-lonely-blog. :)

Gotta be healthy. Gotta sleep properly. & gotta be happy.

peace out,

eirazm

#17

2011-07-01T22:23:00.000+08:00

Why am i feeling this way?

To be honest, I don't know what I am feeling now.
Nor do i know what triggered it.
But, I've been feeling this way since yesterday.

It is disturbing.
It is annoying.
It is frustrating!
It makes me feel so grumpy and sad.
& it makes me feel the need to cry.
But I don't have reason/s to cry.

Maybe this frustration over not knowing what's wrong could make cry.
Almost.
But not yet.

Tell me.
Why are you feeling this way, Eira?
What do you want to accomplish by feeling this way?
What are you feeling anyway?

frustrated,
eirazm

#15

2011-05-25T21:15:00.001+08:00

It's not a good day nor it is a bad day.
I'm just not happy and i don't exactly know why.
I'm easily pissed today too.

While driving, i cursed the car in front of me for being too slow even though it was actually heavily jammed.
Well, I'm just pissed that the driver let another car cut the queue... grrr.
Just now, i read a fan fiction of Card Captor Sakura. The author just updated her story.
& it's real sad. Like heartbreaking sad. & i can't help but cried. =.="
Talk about being over emotional. Sigh.
The author suggest us to listen to this song called Baby Goodbye by Aqualung.
It's her inspirational song to write the next chapter...

Listening to this song, makes me more emotional. Damn Eira. Aren't you feeling too much today? I know, it's the PMS-doing. But still... i can't help but feeling blues...

Love is blind
Unkind
And always gets its way
And love wont spare
Us joy
Or consequence or pain

-Baby Goodbye, Aqualung-

p/s: To be honest, i never knew the existence of this Aqualung. hehe.

Hoping for a cheerful tomorrow.

peace out,

eirazm

#14

2011-05-12T22:47:00.000+08:00

I wanted to post something here... but i don't know how to post it without being over-annoying or weird. So, i'll just post some pictures and a paragraph about it. Basically, it's gonna be about the guys that catch my attention. lol.

This is my ichiban. Taguchi Junnosuke is his name. The guy who would always managed to make me smile when the day doesn't seems good. Listening to his songs helps too. He's very easy going... a positive minded kind of person. Always happy go lucky. A calm but a very excited one. It's hard for me to say why I love him. It's love at first sight. LOL. I was attracted to him because of his smile. I always feel that his smile are sincere. Maybe his personality that attracts me. I wouldn't know for sure... but i would like to continue to support him no matter what. :) Ganbatte Junno-kun!

& this is Shun Oguri. He acted as Hanazawa Rui in Hana Yori Dango. I really like his character as Hanazawa Rui. Personally, I tend to like this kind of character. Mysterious, kind & just lovable! Forgive me for my vocabulary is limited at the moment. All I know, i really love his character! & i definitely hate that the main character is not with him! lol. You can ignore that comment as it is very biased there. I don't mind at all that the main character is with Domyouji (weird name!) It's just that i feel sad for him, you know.... & make me feel like volunteering myself to him. hahahaha. XD

This guy is Matsuda Shota. He acted as Nishikado Soujiro in Hana Yori Dango. I like his face! And also his character as Soujiro. He's the kind of guy that i know it's dangerous to be with him as i kind of know i'm gonna be heartbroken after that.... But that doesn't stop me from liking him kind of thing. Do you get my feelings? haha. But i seriously am attracted to him that make me feel like watching every drama that he's in you know.... hihihi

Honestly, these 3 guys are my top 3 for today. Well, the first place would always be Taguchi Junnosuke anyway. I couldn't replace him no matter how many times i tried. Maybe because i know him the most...in-a-fan-way-i-mean. I'm not complaining either.

Liking or paying attention to Japanese actors/singers is good for me in a way. It kinda takes my mind off from the real world where i know i don't have anyone as yet. Distraction is needed sometimes. & these guys are just A VERY GOOD DISTRACTION.

peace out,
eirazm

#13

2011-04-04T21:42:00.002+08:00

I went jogging at KLCC park today after work. It's my first time. I wanted to jog there for quite sometimes already. But due to several reasons mention below, i didn't try it before.

Reasons for not going jogging at KLCC park:

I'm lazy.
Gonna make me going home later than usual. (the same reason could be used for going to gym)
Jogging alone is boring
I have to leave my bags at the office first, go jog & come back to the office to take my things (equally means lazy)
When i'm ready to go jogging, it's raining.
Have to change to sports attire at the office - people will know that you're going jogging/doing sports.
Kind of scared to go jogging alone there.... - safety reason-

So what makes me go jog at the park today? Yesterday i'm having a day i would call as "EIRA IS FAT- DAY!" Where everything i wear really makes me feel fat. I hate my tummy. My thigh is BIG. My face is chubby. Some tshirt kind of thight at the waist part. OMG... I'M FAT!!!! *runs to the corner & cries hard*

I feel like doing this:

Back to our topic, so yes i went jogging. Well you see, besides feeling fat... i'm kind of feel a lil bit depressed and i just feel the need to sweat. I hate to sweat for nothing or just stand under the sun kind of thing. I want to sweat through sports. & i did that. :)

Somehow after 20 minutes of jogging-walking-jogging, i felt good. I didn't sweat a lot this time around. & it has been two weeks since the last time i went jogging. So my leg is a lil bit aching. =.=

I guess, it's not so bad jogging at KLCC park. The view is nice and have lots of trees. It makes me happy. So i might go another round of jogging there on Wednesday. Let's hope i could achieve that short term goal.

It would take times for the jogging to make me slimmer.... lol. But i'm more looking forward for a healthy lifestyle. It would definitely be good if i could jog 3 times a week. That is one of my resolution for 2011. There are still 8 months to go... let's try and do this. :)


Let's jog for a healthy lifestyle!

peace out,
eirazm

#12

2011-03-18T21:03:00.000+08:00

I always feel like writing something lately. But whenever i started writing, i couldn't make a proper sentences that representing what my head wanted to say at that point of time. & that killed my spirits to write. & i just log off from blogdrive / blogspot.

That is not the only problem. I'm lacking of practise when it comes to writing in English and even more in Malay. I guess that's the root of the problem i mention in first paragraph. Because of my lacking in the writing practise, my grammar was down the drain already. Not to say that my grammar is good... but it was definitely better than now. & it's frustrating.

Not only that, i seldomly speak in English as well lately. I do speak but it's too little that i wouldn't even consider it as practise. My vocabulary is getting worst too. Sometimes i'm having difficulty to think of the word i wanted to say.

I'm doubting myself too. I kind of lose my confident. And i'm not sure why.

Oh well. It's proven that it is something that I myself need to work on after this. Wish me luck.

I really want to write more you know...

peace out,
eirazm

#11

2011-02-18T00:46:00.001+08:00

Kadang-kadang cerita atau drama yang ditonton tidaklah sesedih mana,
Tapi bila hati tersentuh, mudah saja air mata mengalir.

Nak tergelak tengok diri sendiri tengok drama dan menangis.
Sebab itu kadang-kadang tak suka tengok cerita sedih dengan orang.
Sebab tau hujan akan turun dengan lebat sekali. haha.

Walaupun cerita yang bertemakan kekeluargaan je pun... dah boleh menangis.
Apatah lagi cerita-cerita bertemakan cinta kan?
Aiyoyo.

Kadang-kadang tak sangka hati sendiri terlalu sensitif.
Ye la kalau tengok cerita sedih sikit pun dah nangis... =.="
Tapi bila diri sendiri perlukan waktu menangis...tak mau pula keluar air mata tu.

Changing the topic...

Nak tergelak pulak tengok keletah rakan-rakan di Skype.
Beriya-iya nak tau love song from the four of us that could relate to our true feelings.
Bukanlah tak nak share sebenarnya... haha. Tapi sedang menonton drama episode last pulak tuh.
Tengah feeling habis... malas nak fikir ape lagu yang berkaitan.

& it's true the song that i listened to lately is more to heartbroken song but i'm not feeling like that anyway.
Just that i love the voice of the artist/s and the music of that particular song/s.
& the fact that I'm a KAT-TUN fans, naturally i would listened to them everyday and their songs would be my favourite. So which one to choose? heh.

& at the same time... i just don't feel like sharing you know.
Like at that point of time, you would like to keep quiet about it.
Or you don't want to be forced to tell.
Entahlah. I just don't feel like it kot.

Gomenasai.

I should go and pack. Tomorrow i'm going to Lumut for site visit.
I'm excited!

Oyasumi minna-san!

peace out,
eirazm

#10

2011-02-04T02:41:00.000+08:00

Sometimes you wish you are not alone.
By alone, i mean single.
Sometimes i may not care about this love things.
But sometimes, i'm disturbed by it.
Like now.

Sometimes i hardly care that i'm single.
Sometimes i think about it quite hard...
That make me pity myself somehow.

Sometimes i think, i'm just not attractive for them to be attracted to me.
Sometimes i think i scare them off.
Or sometimes i believe that my "prince" is no where near me currently or he's lost somehow?
Or maybe it's not the time for us to meet yet.
Or maybe he died already...& there's no replacement. T___T

I would like to believe that i'm not desperate.
Seriously, i don't think i am.
It's just that...it would be definitely nice and comforting to know that someone loves you for you.
& that someone could possibly be someone that you're gonna grow old with.
I know i'm still young. But i guess, at my age we already start thinking about this.
I wouldn't want to grow old alone, you see.
No one in the right mind would want that.

I'm normal, am I?

I don't want to play with love and feelings,
I guess i had enough of it.
Not that i have lots of experience on it either.
It's just that...I'm done with liking them and not going anywhere.
But i'm not good in confronting the guy i like too.
Heh.

I can only hope that the time will come soon right?
Don't give up yet Eira-chan!

keeping my heart-spirit high,
eirazm

#9

2011-01-07T22:02:00.001+08:00

Topic: When you're down.

Can't help but feel a lil down today. Not exactly sure what triggered it. But damn, i'm lost. Everything just seems wrong and i don't have the exact reasons for it.

In life, there's good days and there's shitty days. If you live your life the best you can, eventually the good days will level off the shitty ones.

True enough. Life is not always in happiness & glory. You go through shit sometimes. I'll just have to change my view and perception on the shits. & I shouldn't dwell on this "sadness." for long.

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
- Winston Churchill

I know i should not stop now. There are still tons of things to learn, to experience & to conquer. I'll just have to make sure i stand up & keep on moving.

“Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.”- Earl Shoaf

I'm just not skillful enough to overcome this feeling of lost. But without experiencing this lost, i wouldn't be able to learn to the skill to overcome it right? <sigh> Never mind. I'm learning now. ^.^ I'm also hoping to be wiser than last year. :)

"The greatest glory in living lies not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail."

Nelson Mandela

Experiencing failure once, doesn't mean that i'm failing for eternity. I'll just have to make sure i got back up again after the fall & start moving forward to try again.

Maybe i was just frustrated with myself today. Plus, i'm feeling too sleepy & i don't think i'm productive enough. & the fact that i know some people are making judgement on me by comparing me to others is not making me any happier today. They might not say through words, but you just got the feeling they are doing just that. I've been feeling that way from the start.

& i really hate it when people start comparing. Everyone is not the same. We might have a few characters that are almost the same but that's it. Our capabilities are definitely difference too. Who are you to tell me / judge me that i can or cannot do it? If i couldn't do it, i could learn. But telling me or saying that i couldn't do it just killed my spirit. Yeah... they might not say it in words that i couldn't do it. But sometimes i feel that they are looking down at me which in turn makes me look down upon myself. Thus, making my confidence level drop down till negative and i lost my spirit to even try. <sigh>

Expectation is another thing. Everyone have expectations in life & all... but when the expectations put on you is too high, you feel the pressure / burden on your shoulder. Sometimes you want to prove to them that you can do it. Sometimes you decide that you just want to get away. Haha.

Oh well. This is life kan. Nothing come easy. I just need to strengthen myself & make sure i'm not that affected with what other people are thinking. I'm not blaming them though... it's one of the challenges that i need to face. Ya Allah, make me stronger & wiser.

I'm gonna prove you wrong. Let's just wait and see. :)

peace out.

eirazm

#8

2010-12-29T19:33:00.003+08:00

Topic: It's time to really move on.

New year is around the corner. & i shall make a new resolution for the heart to take next year. This time... it's for real.

LET'S REALLY MOVE ON!

This year i fell in love, forbid myself from falling really deep & slowly letting go. It's weird to write it out here. But it's nothing of secret. I'm being general anyway.

Liking that person, i never regret. But sadly, he never really knows what i feel. I'm not one to actually confront & confess. Somehow it doesn't work that way for me. I'm sort of very reserved when it comes to that. So he never really knows. Not sure whether he ever get my hints... not that i leave any intentionally anyway.

Sometimes i wish i could just confess. Makes thing easier. Like if he didn't feel the same way, i'll just move on. If he feels the same way, i'm not losing anything right? Well, since i'm a scaredy cat when it comes to confessing... let's not talk about it. =.="

I'm a friend to him as he is a friend to me. Which is good...i definitely enjoy being friends with him. But because of my feeling for him, sometimes i feel awkward being around him. Like i'm getting all nervous, too conscious somehow & my heart feels warm whenever he did unexpected things. & sometimes he makes me feel like he likes me too.... but that was just a false hope i guess.

Because we are not from the same batch in university, i'm not able to see him for one year period. He went for internship and when he comes back to university...i'm going for my internship. So until today... i haven't meet him for 6 months. Due to that one year period, i feel that i should stop liking him. Because in one year, many things could happen. I do not want to limit myself to one person who didn't even know my feeling for him. I should keep my heart open and neutral. Just in case i meet someone that deserved my heart. XD

But asking your heart to really stop liking a guy whom u truly truly "like" (i refused to use the word LOVE - cos LOVE is more serious ne?) is not that easy. Earlier, I've been saying to myself that i'm over him... but it's not the real truth. Cos somehow he's still affecting me. But only last month (NOV 2010) i guess that i feel that i'm really over him. By "over him" i mean i'm not affected by him anymore. I might think of him, but those "high" feeling is not really there anymore. Which i'm truly happy with my own development.

It's hard to fall out of love when you really love. It's easy to say "I'm over him" than to really do it. The heart never lies and you know it. & even when i did get over him, i somehow have those small tingling hope that should not be there. But today those tingling feeling stopped. Why?

Simply because he's not available anymore. He's not married anyway... haha. Those tingling feeling should permanently stopped. It's time to really really move on. I'm not sure how i feel currently. I'm not that frustrated or anything... a lil bit shock, & mostly bitter. It's like i know this will happened somehow. So i'm a lil prepared for this. But still... =.=" a lil bit hurt maybe. I shouldn't be right?

A part of me want to cry it out. But i just couldn't. My eyes get watery but it never really fall anyway. Relax sudah kan. *trying to act cool*

I like him for a total of 11 months i guess.

"Crush" on him about a month.

Fell for him & truly like him for 6 months.

Trying to forget him while still liking him (a bit?) for 4 months.

LOL. =.="

To dear guy,

I wish you a happy & successful life. :)

Please be happy with whoever that is.

& let's be friends forever ne.

It's time to really let go of this feeling & be 100% neutral.

Sometimes you have to let go of the better to get the best.

Love is like a puzzle. When you're in love, all the pieces fit but when your heart gets broken, it takes a while to get everything

Smile Eira Smile.
eirazm

#7

2010-12-12T22:18:00.004+08:00

Topic: Pemikiran positif

Tak suka bila terbaca status orang yang berunsur negatif yang menyebabkan diri sendiri terasa bergerak ke arah negatif. Perlu jauhkan diri dari apa-apa yang negatif.

Jadi... tetapkan hati dan minda untuk semuanya positif. Tiada yang mustahil okay. :) Kalau mahu, semua boleh.

peace out,
eirazm

#6

2010-12-07T18:48:00.003+08:00

Topic: Random

I don't exactly know what i want to write today. I just feel like writing something down. It doesn't matter anyway. This is a place for me to say just anything.

I went to KL International Motor Show in PWTC today with the family. It was kinda fun. Though i kinda hope to see Audi, Mazda & BMW. Though none of it was there. The car brands that are in the exhibition are Perodua, Proton, Peugeot, Lexus, Nissan, Toyota, Honda, etc (can't remember what else) .... They got hybrid car as well... which i kinda find it interesting. But honestly i don't really understand how hybrid car really function. I'll find the info later once i feel like it. haha.

Tomorrow gonna be my 2nd day intern. I'm looking forward for it. We're gonna have a short presentation on our expectation for internship & things that i want to learn from the company. I've got things in mind but i haven't materialize it in words & power point form. XD I definitely do know what i want. (which is why i'm excited) Will get it done after this.

Sometimes I have this feeling of "getting mad" at petty little things. I just can't help it sometimes. Maybe i'm just tired thus i'm not in a good mood and thus i got mad & emotional. I might be feeling a lil bit mad when they insult things that happened that is not exactly in my power / decision. I do know that they are just joking around but i was not in the mood. If i were to be rude, i would just say that.... "you chose it for me. i just accepted it & shut my mouth from complaining" that sort of things. But luckily i shut my mouth up ne. Doesn't matter now since i have calm down.

Honestly, i'm quite nervous to meet my supervisor tomorrow. Yeah i haven't meet him on the first day since he was not in the office. I have meet the section manager though. She's nice. :)

Okay... now i'm losing my words already. So i'll stop here now. Take care guys.

peace out.

eirazm

#5

2010-11-26T22:56:00.003+08:00

Topic: Reservoir Modeling Simulation

Reservoir Modeling Simulation is one of the subject i have to take in my 3rd year 1st semester. A subject with the acronym of RMS. Which could means a lot of things in my pov.

RMS also known as:

1. RiMaS
2. RaMaS
3. Ramai2 Mati Sama2

Students can be really creative when deriving meaning of acronym ne? Especially when the subject of interest is something that we don't like. Like RMS. fufufu. XD

I'm having RMS final paper tomorrow. I'm scared. I'm nervous. I'm far away from calm. I'm bored weyh studying for RMS for these 2 days. I even feel like puking. =.=" I don't know what to expect tomorrow. How hard / easy the paper gonna be?

What makes me extra tension is UTP internet connection. What the hell la kan? I couldn't study or focus when internet connection is bad! Forgive me for being t0o dependent on internet. But internet is damn important when you are in UTP. It's like your only entertainment here! I'm not even lying. (make innocent face here)

Back to our topic... I do admit, my coursework for RMS is quite good... Even i don't think i deserved it. But i still need to pass the final paper... Ok. Let's see what's our strategy for tomorrow. Our lecturer said that it's gonna be 50 % theory & 50 % calculation. So.... huhuhu let's focus on theory!! XD

Whatever it is, i shall not give up before sitting for the exam. So, ganbatte eira-chan! XD No matter how much i feel like puking, i'm still gonna do my best for this. Just please, Ya Allah make me strong enough to pass this obstacle. I need myself to think positively which i didn't for the past few days... Think positive & do my best!

Oh yeah! Let's go to WAR with RMS!!

peace out.
eirazm

#4

2010-11-16T22:37:00.004+08:00

Topic - God! I'm losing my motivation!

Mood di pagi Selasa tadi agak bagus. Siap boleh buat roti salut telur sebab teringin & study macam biasa. Entah kenapa di malam hari Selasa ni, mood saya berlari-lari. Terasa tidak bersemangat, letih dan serabut.

Pening kepala dan rasa sangat mual memang tidak membantu mood. I'm feeling dizzy and ditsy and not forgotten sleepy.I can't focus on what i'm reading. I'm losing my motivation. I'm feeling a bit down for no particular reason. I'm just being emo tak tentu pasal kot. =.=

Maybe i'm just tired, bored & need to go out of the house. Maybe i just need my lepak-ing session either at Ameeth, McD or Oldtown. Maybe i just want to stop studying for the day (which i can't unless i finish reading that one chapter!!) A lot of maybe but it might just be some excuses made by eira because she don't want to study.

Originally, i wanted this post to be in Malay thus the beginning of the entry is in malay. But let's just rojak okay. Bcos i can't write a good full malay sentences currently. Lack of practise, i know. *dush dush* Oh God, i feel really baaaaaddddd and i think i should bang my head somewhere.

Hope tomorrow will be better. I cannot lose my motivation & focus during EXAM WEEK!

*think positive eira. think positive. think positive* ----->chant to get myself think positive. =.=

take care.
peace out.

eirazm

#3

2010-11-12T23:57:00.010+08:00

Topic: KAT-TUN

For today, let's talk about my current obsession.
It's not exactly a new obsession. Only about a year so far. :)

I won't talk about how i know or was introduced to them in this post. My time is quite limited you see. I'm on study break for a while.

I can't really express how excited i am for Kat-tun new single. Officially going to be released on 17 Nov 2010.

A few symptoms of my excited-ness for this:

Keep on listening to the new single Change Ur World - on repeat
Ordered the album on the first day the announcement on new album was out
Keep myself updated on any news of Kat-tun new single. XD
Download CM (commercial advert of album) & go kyaaaaaaa!
Download Kat-tun first Change Ur World single performance & go kyaaaaaaa!
Stop studying just to post entry on Kat-tun. ^^
Can't stop smiling.

Let's share some of the screencap from the PV (promotional video) or in other words video clip. ^^

NAKAMARU YUICHI

TANAKA KOKI

UEDA TATSUYA

KAMENASHI KAZUYA

TAGUCHI JUNNOSUKE

Definitely HOT. Making me extra excited. huhu.

I'm studying Intro to Management currently. Well, you know how management book is... they babble a lot. Example this example that. The point they want to make is like very little if to compare with the case study situation. Making me sleepy je. =.="

But while writing this post, i'm not sleepy at all. XD ahaks. Predictable.

Have to stop writing now... :(

KAT-TUN,
my current obsession
my current motivator
& definitely my love. <3<3<3>

#2

2010-11-06T02:34:00.004+08:00

Topic: First Traffic Summon
Date: 5 Nov 2010

Today... another history of my life is written down.
My first trafic summon.
It's not something to be proud of mind you.
But since it's my first... i shall take note of it.

What's the summon is for?

To tell you the truth, i have this bad habit of crashing the traffic light.
I hate it when i was driving fast, the traffic light just have to turn yellow at that moment.
As a result, i would just drove off & say sorry in a not so sorry way. ^^

& today... this bad habit of mine is the reason why i got this summon.
I would not say i'm not guilty... because i am...
I won't blame it to others as well.

Where?
The traffic light to go to KTM Sungai Buloh.
The traffic light was red...
& there were two cars in front of me who drove off and turn right.
& i just have to follow them, didn't i?
=.="

Another life experience in regards to this topic and my bad habit...
I was in my hometown, Malacca & was on my way to a grocery shop near home.
The traffic light was red... and since i'm going to go to the left junction,
i thought it was okay for me to just go left...
& after that, a police car followed me from behind.
Asked for my license and all...
They wrote something on their notebook/papers,
Give me back my license and that's it.
For this, i'm not sure whether i am being summon or not. Hmmmm...
Since i did not received any letters at home yet... meaning i'm not summon yet. =.="
Experience happened in September 2010 during Eid.
Heh.

I'm not planning to tell the parents bout this...
Since it's basically my fault...
& the parents' rule regarding summon - "If you got any summons... you'll pay your ownself."
So... yup. Got to settle it on my own.
Thus, we don't need to mention it to them rite??
XD

Well... gotta end it right here now.

A friendly reminder: Don't crash traffic light anymore, Eirazm. ^^

Love,
Eirazm

#1

2010-11-02T01:26:00.003+08:00

I have forgotten the existence of this blog.
A blog temporarily created when my main blog in blogdrive was out of service in 2007.
A blog with only 2 entries which i have deleted a few minutes ago.

I have forgotten the password for this blog too.
& i have to change it to a new one.

Was wondering what shall i post here....
I have now owned 3 blogs in 3 different blog provider. Blogdrive (main), Livejournal (fangirl-ing blog) and Blogspot (have yet to consider what to post here)
Never mind about that.

I shall post what i want.
Anything and even everything.
It won't be the "famous blog among friends"
Just a blog for myself.

To rant, to tell stories,
To complain, to speak,
& most important
To say it all out.

Peace.

eirazm